The experience of travel has always seemed much easier when I have been the one departing. While bidding my goodbyes to friends and family typically can be intensely discomforting, the thrill of escape on a new adventure has often overshadowed this inevitable farewell trauma. Today, my wife leaves for a one week vacation with Yoga friends in the rustic mountains of North Carolina while I stay home to face the unfamiliar territory of bachelorhood. While the absence of my significant other is merely temporary, I consider this hiatus as a “wake up “‘opportunity for me to strengthen our marriage and function with self-sufficient confidence as needed.
Hearing the voice of my wife from afar no doubt offers me new opportunities for genuine communication. To miss her presence beside me now tests the spirit of togetherness that suddenly has been removed from our marital equation.The true meaning of love in our marriage becomes clearer now as I struggle to realize what life would be like without her. Under such circumstances, it might even behoove me to imagine what my last words to her might be if we faced together the ominous fate of an imminent death on a crippled plane in its fiery descent to the earth.
The equality of male/female gender relations in my marriage is also tested today in my wife’s absence from the daily routine. Facing the impeding urgency of housekeeping tasks this week, I can more honestly view my part in this unglamorous but necessary part of keeping my marriage stable. I imagine myself like an octopus presence, possessing many hands to complete a sizable list of domestic obligations. Checking the wash while watching TV or rebooting the Internet as I prepare my dinner have suddenly become real for me for as I multitask mightily to keep the home in working order.
My wife and I agreed early in our marriage that we would always make time to travel together regularly. Given the freedom of many days off to escape from our hectic life as school teachers, our “eye to the sky” gave us little time at home to reflect on the aging process.We were rarely present to celebrate the holidays with family/friends and it became a foregone conclusion that we would never have children to prevent us from sustaining our lifestyle of active self-indulgence in travel.
Serious reflection about the long term impact of these Wanderlust life choices arise in my mind more freely now. Am I prepared to cope with getting older? How capable would I be to manage a monthly budget on my own? Am I willing to network socially to find more friends? Now is a good time for me to test my independent resolve while my “magic carpet” is grounded.
Snippets of a Traveling Mind 
This was a really beautiful bog. It reflects what many of us in our age bracket feel as we approach our golden years. First of all, the fact that you appreciate and miss your wife is a lovely sentiment and something that not all individuals in a partnership understand and experience until it is way too late. The fact that you can admit now how much a part of your life your wife is and how much you value and treasure your relationship is a rare thing of beauty. Consider yourself lucky and cherish all that you have and and will have in the future.
We can never anticipate what our future will bring, we can only soldier on when life throws us a curve ball. We live life the best we can, and to the fullest we are able.
You and Ruth were, and are very lucky to have been able to travel and see the world. But, you cannot ever regret choices or fear growing older. Life happens. Things sometimes change. And We move forward.
As a woman who was married twice and now lives alone. The one thing I have learned is that we choose our joy and our adventures as we age. Those adventures may be modified as we change and grow older due to circumstances and health, but we are indeed masters of our own destiny.
I was just telling a friend of mine who recently entered her 60’s and was terrified. I explained that she needed to find things to enlighten her soul and not to fear aging. It happens anyway, if we are lucky. I have made peace with my limitations and have learned that as long as I continue to broaden my mind, I am still on my journey. I sense that you and Ruth have many more years of traveling ahead of you. And it is so sweet that you miss her while she is away. This was a very charming blog. I know Ruth will enjoy reading it,
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Well spoken Lesley. You read my mind very well.
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interesting perspective. Have you been keeping the toilet seat up ? Beautifully written!
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Fortunately we have separate toilets.
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if you miss someone when they are gone, do you miss them for the things they do for you or miss them because you don’t enjoy doing things alone with out them? Maybe this could be the real test of a strong relationship. /companionship. As I get older I find relationships matter more than “doing stuff”, even time spent just reading together makes me feel complete. Enjoyed your thought provoking lines that made me contemplate about the recent loss of someone’s presence in my life. A perfect read.
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It seems scary to live alone, I can’t deny that. Nonetheless, our marriage works best when we spend quality time together.
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